WARNING: Following the link to the Christmas album on Rhapsody, may cause distress and sadness, resulting in children crying.
Oh My…
I heard a small portion of Christmas In The Heart on my way to work, on a local station, and immediately decided that I was going to have to listen to this.
Oh the regrets we have…
Are those letters... bleeding?
I’ve decided that my first instinct’s are way wiser than I give them credit for. I had a feeling of atrociousness but I ignored it. Obviously I’ve had this problem before, and you would think that I would learn my lesson.
Oh no. No lessons learned here… Well maybe… Hmmm, nope I’ve got nothin’.
So Christmas time is coming up in little over a month. I thought it would be a good time to see what Bob had to offer in the way of mood music for the upcoming snowy days.
So I downloaded Bob Dylan – Christmas In The Heart from Rhapsody.
First thing that’s up is “Here Comes Santa Claus.” It starts out nicely. It get’s my head bobbing. And then I hear…
What the…?!!!!
Oh Bob… What have you done to Christmas?!!!!
It’s weird and creepy. Okay, let’s move along to “Do You Hear What I Hear?”
BOB?!!?! What are you doing!
Your killing Christmas! “Do ya her wa I her?” What are you saying Bob? What are you saying? Oh, I get it! Your Lampooning me. Oh I see! It will be okay. I’m laughing. Oh this is funny. But, I think I will skip to the next song.
[ Dang you Bob, now I'm in Shock and Denial. ]
Ah, now this is nice. “Winter Wonderland” Now that’s some background singers. Nice clear tones… wait, it’s too nice. This isn’t going to be good, I thought.
AIEEHHHA!!! NOOOOO!!!!
I’m done. Bob your done. Your dead to me. I want to know who your producer is. I’m going sue him, so that he will never have enough money to convince you to sing another album like this again.
Oh wait, I think we have a good song… Now this song sounds like fun.
“Must Be Santa.” Now this funny.
Okay. I take it back, this album isn’t a complete failure. This song is definitely funny.
Who’s got a big red cherry nose. Who laughs this way “Ho, Ho, Ho.” Ho, Ho Ho, cherry nose.
Pure polka awesomeness…
And with that one funny song, I give this album a “D”. For drunken karaoke singer. It doesn’t get an F, due to the awesome back ground singers who had to stand behind him and that one funny song.
And to see what others said about this album, I did a search and found this Rolling Stone Review. Oh Rolling Stone, did we even listen to the same music? He sings without a hint of gravel? This is Bob Dylan. That gravel is his trademark. And, why didn’t you mention “Must Be Santa”. It’s the awesomesauce! You couldn’t at least plug the best song on the album? At least the comments put it into perspective.
[ Sigh... ]
And… Wha?!?!? Did his voice crack, I went from funny to this? It almost sounded like he was going to cry on “Hark The Herald Angels Sing?”
Thanks for bringing me back down to reality.
Cause I’m going to cry too Bob… I’m going to cry too.
Yeah. I’m all for Christmas music but I heard somewhere around the blogosphere that this was pretty bad.
But it’s Dylan, doesn’t exactly leave you all warm and fuzzy like Nat King Cole does it?
It was just terrible. I did listen to the whole album. But Must Be Santa is probably the only song I would play again. And that would get old over time. Pretty quickly in fact.