[ Editors Note: This article has been scrubbed of offending words and attacks on character. Please note the strikeouts... ]
You know what I should be doing right now? Cuddling with my two girls and my youngest boy. All while eating popcorn and watching High School Musical 3 for the umpteen time.
You know what I should be doing tomorrow? Waking up late, making pancakes, eggs, bacon, orange juice (Just loaded up this week on everything). Enjoying a great day. Out to the parks, maybe a movie, and something they get to fully decide.
You know what I am doing?
Typing out my frustration to the world…
Think happy thoughts... think happy thoughts...
See it all started a couple of weeks ago with a phone call I made to Toyota about the car that I negotiated away from the Ex, due to me wrapping my old one around a tree about a month ago. This car is under a lease. So I wanted to figure where everything was at.
Well guess what?
4 months overdue, and they were scheduling it to be repo’ed.
And with those words, my eyes changed to a deep sea blue. My skin went into a shade of green. and my body mass enlarged to 4 times my body size…
Fists to the SKY!!! [ ARGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! ]
While I was talking with guy, getting a number to figure out how to save it from being repo’ed I sent a txt…
Me: Thanks for letting me know that the lease was behind.
Her: [ CENSORED ]*
Toyota: Sir, you there?
Me: “Yeah, uh, sorry, was trying to wrap a cord around the cellphone”
Me: How much do I need to get this stopped?
Toyota: You need to come up with 750.00 right now
Me….
Toyota: Sir you there
Me….
Me: Yeah, what was that? I saw a bright light for a second. Could you repeat that?
Toyota: Yes it’s 750.00
Me…
Toyota: and then we need to work out getting the remainder caught up.
Toyota: Sir are you sobbing?
So the discussion went into the details of the payment arrangements. And I realized that to keep this car, I was going to have to starve for the next month and live off of Ramen and a few vegetables and if I wanted to get real fancy Toxic Hell.
So this lead up to the other day. I get this text message:
[ CENSORED ]*
Oh, she did not just say that. I was rearranging the weekend to be an all board game weekend with everything else that I have around to make it work. It’s my time. It has nothing to do with money. Plus… who’s screwup did I just have to fix?
I ignored the question. Waiting for a good come back with a witty response.
But then it happened. I woke up with a cough that made everything hurt. This is no good. This is bad. My oldest just got out of open heart surgery a month ago, and was going back in for a some touch up work (Their words, not mine) and this is bad, very bad.
I conceded to failure. I couldn’t have my kids this weekend and I will putt around the house, wondering what to do with my self. I’m at a loss without this time with them. This is what I live for. It’s also time when I correct any ideas of why her new “friend” is still living at the house while he is married. And other insanities.
I heal broken hearts and correct skewed thoughts. Not this weekend. No late night chatting. No hugs.
Dang.
[ CENSORED ]* Removed… cause people are funny that way.
Travis,
Time with your kids has nothing to do with money. If you’re worried about getting your oldest one sick because if his/her compromised immune state, you’re being a good Dad by not exposing them to that. Hardly a failure. Maybe try to see if your Ex will give you some extra phone time or a make up day. When things are going well between us, my Ex and I have done that and it’s worked well.
Exactly. It annoyed me greatly. I know that “I’m not a failure”, it was the time that I was so looking forward too that failed. I’m reworking the Thanksgiving weekend a bit and some other time. And phone time is never an issue. I got my kids their own cell so I can talk to them whenever I or the kids want(we text all the time). She just makes it a battle to negotiate any real time. It’s like I’m dealing with a hostile nation.
The mediation process almost fell through a couple of times. (Good negotiation skills helped that)
I feel your pain. I completely get all the financial issues. (My ex hasn’t paid child support in MONTHS. And before then, I can only describe the payments as erratic at best.)
So, I have the kids 24 days a month and we make the best of our finances. We talk, laugh, joke, go to the library…find all kinds of free stuff to do…festivals, walks…
Once you are feeling well and your oldest is on the mend, things will bounce back. Stay positive and know that you have a whole new world of people cheering for you as you find your way during these troubled times.
Thanks Nicki, yeah my problem falls on the flip-side of this. I pay quite a bit of child support(which I like to do), and then find out how it’s being used (don’t like so much). It’s when things like this happen, that it frustrates me.
Free is always good. I would take my kids to the library and we would check out books and movies, they would usually read the books when they are with their mother. But the time together is always good.
Positive is the one thing I can do well. I don’t normally get this frustrated, but this weekend, I did.
Thanks for your support.
Oh my! Sounds like we both had a crappy weekend. Sorry to hear. Feel better soon.
You had a pretty rough weekend. I wouldn’t wish bathrooms flooding on anyone (Well maybe some, but not most)
That sucks. I hope your cold goes away faster than mine (going on week #4 now!) so that you can see your kids. My parents divorced when I was in high school and I know how much of a battle it can be- at least you take an active roll in your children’s lives- my parents spent all their time being bitter and hating each other. You’re a good Dad
Things will work themselves out soon, I’m sure!
I only a minor cough left. A bit of sinus medicine and I feel pretty good.
You can easily get caught up in the anger with the other person. But you need to make sure you keep your emotions in check and try to be rational.
And, thank you for the compliment. I appreciate it.
Do we have the same ex? I actually bought my ex a car with my credit because she had none and she stopped making the payments. Not wanting to damage my credit I kept making the payments for a few months and with no help from her, I became the repo man! It felt good to take the car away, but bad because kiddo’s mom didn’t have wheels. She fixed that, by getting another guy to buy her a car, lol, sucka.
I had to not see my daughter last week because I was sick. Nothing worse than being sick alone and wanting to see you child.
Weird…
It’s like I’m reading my same story. The lease was her idea a few years back. I didn’t want it, but since I totaled my other car, she was quick to offer it back to me… Hmmm, now I know why.
I hate being sick alone missing my kids. It’s a definite no bueno.
Ouch. I’m sorry.
That’s a double ouch, for the car situation and the lack of smiles over the weekend.
They tell me that it only stings a little bit. Like a flu shot.
Hmmm, I think I need smaller needles.