Maybe This Time We Will Get It Right

Love is an interesting thing. I say thing, because many people can’t substantiate it. When you ask people to tell you what love is, your going to get a unique answer per person.  That’s right. Each person defines it by what they experienced in their families, past boyfriends, and husbands.  This love that we define, is then applied to the current existing relationship or maybe a new budding one.

We then expect the other person to have the same definition.

Tango que me hiciste mal

Which creates a problem.  For us to meet someone who fits this tightly defined meaning of love and how we designed it, we have to spend months, years and lifetimes looking for the person, that would not only see us eye-to-eye but chin-to-chin and nose-to-nose.

We analyze and over-analyze the person’s behavior, in hopes to find aligning attributes.  We will even move our head slightly to see if they move with us and not against us.  We smile, to see if they smile.   We cry in hopes to see if they cry with us.  We test each others abilities to change.

What we want, is to be with that one person, who will dance with us, not just for today,  but to continue onward throughout life.

To quote Nicki over at Suddenly Single Journey,

I know who I am. I know what I’m worth. And I guess I need to find someone who’s worthy of all that and compliments my life, for a change instead of me having to meld entirely to theirs. Let’s meet halfway…as long as halfway isn’t a huge departure from what I’m happy with.

Ah yes, Latin dancing. it’s an amazing way to start the mind on the idea of meeting halfway.  There is a lot of movement. Many times, it’s very complex, and they all have to align, if both do not move in accordance to each other, it can reduce points, and in some cases someone hits the floor.

The success of this, is practice.  To practice not the logistical details but how to change when change is needed.

When I grew up, I had a brother who had a serious case of Asthma.  This was life threatening at times, so our family activities where limited to knowing almost the day of, if we were going to do the activity or not.  Now this is a hard thing to deal with when your a child who wants to know and plan for that day.  To build up the moments in your mind of what  that will be like, to only have it suddenly and abruptly canceled or changed.

The gut reaction was anger and frustration.  But this taught me something important.  Over time, I learned when to change, and when change was needed.

To continually watch what was happening and to try and meet that head-on and with happiness and joy, knowing that the dance you share in will change from fast to slow or from a Samba to Tango.

The problem is that sometimes, one wants the Samba and the other wants the Tango.  Unless, we are willing to change and enjoy whatever dance is happening at the time,  neither will want to dance. [ Guys, we suck, as it's usually us who are stubborn ]

I can promise that it’s not important what your doing but that your doing it together.  True love, is the ability to step out of yourself and put yourself in the others shoes to recognize that maybe at that moment, that she needs to pick and then not just letting her, but be enthralled with the choice.  [ Have that choice become your choice too ].  To decide that happiness is not which dance you do, but that it is the fact that your hand-in-hand.  Living in the moment, reflecting on the past, and planning for the future. And, then adjust as needed.  Make the idea of change an art form.

And learn that the Samba is just as awesome as the Tango, because when your in love, it’s your dance and your music.