Yet there I am.
I’ve always had a strong belief in being awesome. I say this with a chuckle, as by no means am I Captain Awesome. I believe in the effort of trying to be this person.
There is one in everyone of us.
Even when life throws you super-villains that test your very strength to the core.
Even in the test, we tend to only partially come out of it unscathed. Our superheroiness [ I invent words! ] seems to have some chinks in the armor. We are alive, and we are still breathing, but there are days, when you just want to sit down and wish we didn’t have the drive to continually move forth. And for some, that drive is gone.
When you loose this drive. It’s time to head North, (South would be warmer… oh soft warm white sands… but if you want to be Superman, you have to be in an environment that reminds you it’s cold, but that you can warm it up, if you put forth a tid bit of effort).
How the heck do we heal from the wounds that we have received. Physically and emotionally? Do we just go into a corner and lick them? [ Eeewww! licking wounds is just plain gross! ]. Or, do we shut down, to never open up again?
Why the heck do we want to open ourselves to that pain again? Cause if they can do it, who’s going to stop the next one.
[ Pssst. You are, that's who... ]
But, are you sure you want to do that? Are you sure you want to go to the extreme of just wanting the basic’s out of a man, in hopes that he won’t inflict any more pain?
To safe guard our hearts, we sometimes start to redefine love. What does it mean? Is me being a good guy… good enough to define love? Is that good enough? Someone who can be a roommate. Share in the bills, so your life only sucks a little? Maybe smile. Maybe share in a couple of good times.
Does love mean that it only has too suck a little?
Why is it that women are wanting to settle for a “Good Guy”. For me a good guy means, that they will go through the motions, but choose to not take it beyond that. You don’t feel the true compassion and love they have.
I hope that when I find that love I’m searching for, that I will never been seen as a good guy. I want to be the “Great Man” [ The Super Hero In-Training ]. The one that they so dearly want to hold onto.
Interesting. Maybe even more interesting because of its accuracy. I have often wondered the same thing about many of my friends. And then I have chastised myself for not settling for good enough in the hopes that great is out there somewhere.
Tricia´s last blog ..Humpty Dumpty – That’s Me
We love someone for two reasons. We love them for who they are. And, we love them for who they will become. The “great” should be where they are at now. Who they will become, will be the greatness that you may not even imagine.
Hmmm. I want to find someone who likes me as I without treating me like a remodeling project, who will support my efforts for improvement, be my biggest cheerleader. I don’t want someone to feel like they are settling by being with me. I know who I am. I know what I’m worth. And I guess I need to find someone who’s worthy of all that and compliments my life, for a change instead of me having to meld entirely to theirs. Let’s meet halfway…as long as halfway isn’t a huge departure from what I’m happy with.
Does any of this make sense? Guess I’m still defining what I hope for in a relationship and a life partner. I do know that he will be my hero.
If only for having the fortitude to put up with me.
Nicki´s last blog ..Great. I live in Joe’s Apartment…
Nicki, it makes a great deal of sense. And sounds exactly right. Being with someone, who is both your equal and your hero, and be your biggest cheerleader is the person you want.
Finding someone who is worthy of all that will be the challenge. But, it will be the best challenge of your life.
“If only for having the fortitude to put up with me.”
A real man, wouldn’t put up with you. He would revel in you for exactly who you are.
Wow. You read me and still like me. Very nice.
Nicki´s last blog ..Last Thanksgiving…
Well… the “good guy” is well rounded. He makes us happy, doesn’t make us fret too much, life is nice. The “great man” may fill our lives with passion and love but it’s likely he also drives us so mental that we want to beat him with a 2×4. To find someone who is both of these things… seems impossible to me at this point. Maybe that’s just because I’m not ready for him yet. I’m still busy enjoying being single and free!
IntrigueMe´s last blog ..My Little Travel Bug
Fascinating how our perspectives of “great” and “good” are. See to me a great man is someone who is well rounded, loves compassionately and holds you with great love and respect and doesn’t make you mental (This feels like the lowest common denominator) . The “good man” is someone who is just there. Nothing more, nothing less. And you don’t worry about him, because you hold no real expectations for him. (What appears to me to be the lowest common denominator)
If I’m with someone who doesn’t hold me accountable and doesn’t have high expectations for me. Then I would be worried. But besides that, I would only hold myself to very high standards and expect myself to be above and beyond the expectations that she may have for me.
I guess my “Good Guy” is your “Great Guy” without the fire and passion and drive. Your definition of “Good Guy” sounds like the guy I keep around to entertain me while I wait for the “Great Guy” to show up!
He sounds boring!
IntrigueMe´s last blog ..My Little Travel Bug
“the guy I keep around to entertain me while I wait for the ‘Great Guy’”
That is way too funny.
lol… and sometimes I stoop to the “Lame Guy” who is a notch below “Good Guy”. There are benefits though, Lame Guy usually likes you way more than you like him- and let’s face it, it’s nice to hold the cards.
IntrigueMe´s last blog ..Vitamin “Happy”
Holy frick! That is funny. It also amazes me how our wanting to not be alone can outweigh our desire to have the best.
We have complex emotions.
Dang it.
Well see that’s where your wrong… I still want the best I just don’t want it now, so I choose to let Mr. Lame hang around for a while for sheer entertainment purposes. You think I keep McClingy around because I LIKE him? Hahahaha…. nooo!
IntrigueMe´s last blog ..Are You Happy?
Touche
“For me a good guy means, that they will go through the motions, but choose to not take it beyond that.”
That has to be the best description I’ve read of the “good guy.” I’ve had one and when it came time to “take it beyond” he hit the road instead.
Hurt like hell but didn’t keep me from putting myself out there. I learned that emotional pain is not terminal and it also teaches.
Taught me to stay away from the “good guy” AND that I’m a very strong person…one worthy of a “great guy.”
Of course, right now I’d settle for the “lame guy.” Anything to break up the monotony of going through the holidays without a man.
Cathy´s last blog ..When Your Ex is a Turkey
Cathy, no kidding, right? That is the one thing that I’m struggling with quite a bit. I am going to miss my kids, but a big part of the holidays is that your tag-teaming it with someone. That your doing it together.
Settling doesn’t sound all that bad. I’m just hoping that the waiting pays off.
Thank god I always spend the holidays with family (LOTS of family)… McClingy has asked me several times what my plans for the holidays are and I always say… “Ohh, I spend Christmas out of town with my family. You’re going to spend it with YOURS, RIGHT?!”
hehe
IntrigueMe´s last blog ..Are You Happy?
The thing about “good guy” versus “great guy” is that one woman’s good guy is another’s great guy. But it takes time to know. And so many people (men and women both) are in such a hurry. They see what they want to see, rather than investing the time to ride the inevitable roller coaster together.
One other thought – when some of us use the term “good guy” – we mean it in the best possible way. Specifically, a good man is a term I use for a man who owns himself, is comfortable in his skin, has integrity. It isn’t about personality (he could be introverted or extroverted); it’s about values, behavior. And that doesn’t mean boring, it means substantive.
So I’ll wait for the “right” good man. There may be more than one. We change over time, and our needs change. And in the meantime, we go out and live our best possible life, to the best of our ability, and hopefully, touch a few others in good ways while we’re at it.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Metro tickets in my pocket, black cat, mashed potatoes
It’s been interesting to hear the responses, and it has been very educational. I don’t really understand it completely how the views can be so different.
And this is troubling. When some women have a different definition for great and good, it makes it difficult to determine how I would fit when I hear it being applied to me. I’m going to have to make sure that I hear it in context.
Fascinating.
If anyone has opinions on this. I would love to hear them.
Seems to me like you’re already a good guy Travis, I don’t think you need to worry
I would call you a great guy but by my definition we’re not passionately in love so that wouldn’t be right… ha ha.
IntrigueMe´s last blog ..Song Of The Day 11/26/2009