Or otherwise known as, They Get What They Want, And Then Never Want It Again
Went to bed last night, with a train wreck of a headache. All from the partying I did Sunday night…
Just kidding.
I’m not sure how I did it. [ Maybe staring at code all day would do that? Nah, That couldn't be it 
] But, I could really use a good back cracking about now. This of course reminded me…
Ah crap. I don’t have anybody here to do this.
Warning: My back is way more awesome than this one.
So I’ve been trying crazy things. Like laying off the end of the bed with my head off the edge and slowly lifting to see if it crack…
ugh, that didn’t work. I could see if the butterfly splits will work. I was a track runner in one of my past lives and I could get my back to crack like nobody’s business. Of course I had more strength in my back in those days, so I didn’t do it as often.
But here I am trying to get it to crack… And then I hear it, it sounds like my back was cracked with a sledgehammer. And I stop. Owww.
Not the bad, oh my heck I should be at the doctor’s bad, but the kind that made all the blood rush to the brain. I just paused…
AhhOwww… sigh … Much better.
One of the things I spent time thinking about while I was figuring out how to fix my back [ Yeah, I will crack my own back if it's all I got ] was how a lot of conversations out there on the Internet where discussing infidelity. What people’s views are and how people really opened up to their own personal experiences. It’s been a melee of awesomeness.
Some people don’t get how someone could commit to marriage, and then cheat [ Because admitting that you don't love someone anymore and fear that you would hurt their feelings... Is oh, say easier than cheating and making it all worse? ]
Some people have been on both sides of the cheating fence. And sympathized with others who cheated. Which seemed to be followed with the aura of “mistakes don’t define me” .
I was thinking of a reply to a commenter [ Linda ], the previous day about what I should say to the thought of a mistake, and it came to me… mistakes are the exact same thing as conditional love. Mistakes don’t define us, as much as love is defined by conditions.
Okay, I admit, as I was submitting comments to a lot of blogs on these subjects, I realized… these are all women. I am going to get torn a new one. But surprisingly [ yet not as much as I was expecting ], I’ve been pretty welcomed to these sites.
[ Odd ]
Was the word that kept coming into my mind. I’ve been nervous about expressing thoughts of a man, on a blog of divorced women. What a haven for the heartbroken and the growing numbers of women seeking strength and relief from their journeys in the battles of broken marriages. With a great deal of them dealing with infidelities and abuse.
Yeah I would like to add my own thoughts? What? No? You don’t allow men on? Your afraid that I would be a disgruntled ex and would wreck havoc on the forums?
Yup, I was denied entry to one site. When I was reading a thought on a forum, I was thinking, “Hey, I know what’s going on there, I could answer that”
Well look at this? Look familar? It's my go to for everything awesome in relationships.
Nope. that door was closed. Not surprised. I’ve stood up to many a women who rattled my brain about how badly men suck. And I withstood the berating, and walked away with them feeling at least better about me, and me just a bit more insightful.
And this was no different, I recognized more of the pain going on with these women.
One the biggest things that I’m learning [ at least I think so ], is that the whole idea of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, is faulty. I think people need excuses to think that women are so different, that we can in no way understand them.
This is just a load of crap. It’s just a really poor excuse.
What proves this to me is when I read an article where a he gets her. He focuses on her. He responds to her needs and listen.
And that, is the answer. If we just sit back, and actually listen. Ask questions, and move in rhythm. If we do this, we will actually have a chance.
Have any one witnessed someone do the Tango? You are seeing the ultimate in reading the body and understanding what the next move will be… Why would any other area be any different?
Of course learning the Tango can be difficult for some, as it is to learn to understand women. But, I would recommend, that first, you actually learn to communicate with your words first, and then learn to communicate with your moves.
Good news! You are always welcome to comment on my site. SAY ANYTHING. (Yeah, because up until now you’ve been holding back…)
Have a great day!
Nicki´s last blog ..So, I clicked my heels together three times…
Sweet! I’ve been holding back on your site, I’m certain now that you’ve given me the go-ahead, I’m going to post a whole article as a comment, just for you…
Just kidding.
Thanks Nicki!
You are always welcome on my site as well.
Well, thanks Jolene. I spent some time yesterday reading your blog, and I have to say, you too are very welcome here.
If I had a website you would be welcome on it anytime.
Thank you Linda, and you are always welcome here.
Thank you. I look forward to reading more of your posts..and commenting.
I really enjoy your comments on my blog and others. Although we had that minor misunderstanding on the Singlemommyhood.com Tiger Woods post – I feel like I learned something valuable from that experience as well. It’s important to get different perspectives, that’s why I read so many diverse blogs in the first place. I want to develop a multi-dimensional view on life, not just look at it “my way”.
While I do think men and women are different, I think it has a lot more to do with predetermined gender roles. Overall, I’m learning that it is possible for men to communicate – however, I do have to adjust to this idea as well.
StudentMama´s last blog .."You are a selfish, heartless person"
Eh, I have no worries about about the Tiger Woods “Fiasco”
I apologize for getting hung up on the word “all”, I got too defensive and it was something that I shouldn’t let get to me. You reminded me of that.
“predetermined gender roles” reads “environment” to me. As it is something that is taught. And I teach my kids how to treat people. I teach my girl’s how men are to treat them. (Love, Respect and Equally)
I was taught to respect, love and endear. And most important of foundations, I was taught to listen and communicate.
No apologies needed – I’m glad we got it figured out. ; ) I’m not sure I was articulating my thoughts well, so that’s what I learned.
I agree. Certainly, “predetermined gender roles” are environmental. I think there will be somewhat of a shift through awareness and teaching the behavior that you speak of…communication and respect. = ) There are those of us that are still working on our learned behaviors (totally talking about me!).
StudentMama´s last blog .."You are a selfish, heartless person"
And that’s okay to work on that. There is enough men creating chaos and mayhem in relationships that it makes it difficult to see how men and women can be together. I find more women expecting to do everything because they can not rely on their men. This is a terrible thing. And it’s just crap, that men are not wanting to be better.
We can be, we should be. And some of us are.