Your Telling Me It’s In The Trees

By
Travis
Published: December 15, 2009Posted in: Cooking, Life, Silliness, Stupidness

It was awesome! it was the most unbland, way too exciting plate of eggs in my life.

So tonight, I decided to take my eggs, that I bought for the weekend, and do something with them [ Oh yes, there will be brownies later ]. I stared at all the seasonings and pulled out garlic, italian seasoning and some milk.

woah.... deep fried boiled eggs in sausage meat.... I feel my heart....

woah.... deep fried boiled eggs in sausage meat.... I feel my heart....

Mixed it all together, and then while I watched the eggs slowly become the awesomesauce of an omelet,  I was in the act of thoroughly embarrassing anyone who was in the kitchen with my spectacular moves.  I was just in a need of an audience.  And with a little Low Rider,  my eggs where reaching epic awesomeness.

Gentley making sure the omelet doesn’t overly brown is quite the chore. You need just enough heat, but not too much.  So I spray my pan with Pam [ haha, they sound alike ]. And then turn up the heat to medium.

And now, I’m about to create a level of awesomeness that only Mario can compete with.  [ Him and I are tight.. Dude, you forgot to call like you said you would... ]

I feel a Breakfast Club moment coming on. [ Not the "Pow right in the kisser" moment... but the  oh so ho... uh.. nevermind ] , I start to nod my head. Yeah this is all good.  I step away for a sec and then come back all worried that it was too hot… [ Phew, not too hot, in fact it looks like it slowly cooking... nice ]

I step away again. and then come back and I use a knife to see how it looks around the edge. Hmm, it’s not white yet.  Hmm it’s on medium, so I put a lid on it to get  the heat to build up.  I see the steam building up in the lid… sweet. and were off.

A little Kid Rock and I’m off to go and relish in the awesomeness of my cooking skills.

I come back and the glass is still foggy.  Using a fork I check and it’s still not cooking… Dang! What’s going on?  It’s on medium.  The lid is steamy.  What’s going on?

“Ah Ha!”  Well, at least that’s what I wanted to say when I figured out what was going on.  But nope it went more like this.. [ Honesty hurts ]

Hmmm….. where is that heat coming from?  So I touch the pot sitting on the back burner…

Owww… :(

Apparently I turned on the back burner instead of the front one.  It caused all kinds of commotion and I had to run my finger under cold water.  Well… Hmm… okay this story isn’t as fun so…

[ Yeah, ignore all above... You did not read it... look into my eyes... You will go to sleep in 3..  2.. ].

back to the better funner story.

Ah Ha!  Problem solved,  Superhero Spiff* figured out the heat source after being attack by the evil alien’s metallic device of death.  He fought diligently and brought heat to the needy masses [ Me ]

With the hint of awesomeness, that is garlic and Italian seasoning, and with the creaminess of milk.  It made for an egg sandwich that ran circles around McDonalds, and that’s saying a lot.

Oh, and we don’t have to tell anyone about my little accident in the kitchen.  We can keep that between us.

[ Your telling me it's on the ground, it's all around.  It's not.  It's inside me. ]

[ Spiff ]* Mr Watterson, you will always be my hero.