So tonight, I decided to take my eggs, that I bought for the weekend, and do something with them [ Oh yes, there will be brownies later ]. I stared at all the seasonings and pulled out garlic, italian seasoning and some milk.

woah.... deep fried boiled eggs in sausage meat.... I feel my heart....

Mixed it all together, and then while I watched the eggs slowly become the awesomesauce of an omelet,  I was in the act of thoroughly embarrassing anyone who was in the kitchen with my spectacular moves.  I was just in a need of an audience.  And with a little Low Rider,  my eggs where reaching epic awesomeness.

Gentley making sure the omelet doesn’t overly brown is quite the chore. You need just enough heat, but not too much.  So I spray my pan with Pam [ haha, they sound alike ]. And then turn up the heat to medium.

And now, I’m about to create a level of awesomeness that only Mario can compete with.  [ Him and I are tight.. Dude, you forgot to call like you said you would... ]

I feel a Breakfast Club moment coming on. [ Not the "Pow right in the kisser" moment... but the  oh so ho... uh.. nevermind ] , I start to nod my head. Yeah this is all good.  I step away for a sec and then come back all worried that it was too hot… [ Phew, not too hot, in fact it looks like it slowly cooking... nice ]

I step away again. and then come back and I use a knife to see how it looks around the edge. Hmm, it’s not white yet.  Hmm it’s on medium, so I put a lid on it to get  the heat to build up.  I see the steam building up in the lid… sweet. and were off.

A little Kid Rock and I’m off to go and relish in the awesomeness of my cooking skills.

I come back and the glass is still foggy.  Using a fork I check and it’s still not cooking… Dang! What’s going on?  It’s on medium.  The lid is steamy.  What’s going on?

“Ah Ha!”  Well, at least that’s what I wanted to say when I figured out what was going on.  But nope it went more like this.. [ Honesty hurts ]

Hmmm….. where is that heat coming from?  So I touch the pot sitting on the back burner…

Owww…

Apparently I turned on the back burner instead of the front one.  It caused all kinds of commotion and I had to run my finger under cold water.  Well… Hmm… okay this story isn’t as fun so…

[ Yeah, ignore all above... You did not read it... look into my eyes... You will go to sleep in 3..  2.. ].

back to the better funner story.

Ah Ha!  Problem solved,  Superhero Spiff* figured out the heat source after being attack by the evil alien’s metallic device of death.  He fought diligently and brought heat to the needy masses [ Me ]

With the hint of awesomeness, that is garlic and Italian seasoning, and with the creaminess of milk.  It made for an egg sandwich that ran circles around McDonalds, and that’s saying a lot.

Oh, and we don’t have to tell anyone about my little accident in the kitchen.  We can keep that between us.

[ Your telling me it's on the ground, it's all around.  It's not.  It's inside me. ]

[ Spiff ]* Mr Watterson, you will always be my hero.

The rest of that week is a blur.  Fuzzy, disorganized, and excruciating.  I’ve said things to people, that I can’t remember. And, I didn’t say things to people, that I thought I did.

Way too much fun.

Single Glass Half Full

But there is good news!  The tree successfully lived and is still standing.  Just a scratch.

After this happened.  I had asked if the kids could be with their Mom this month. While I healed and got myself back in a position to actually be responsible for them.

And this weekend, I get them back. And now I got this feeling in my gut that won’t go away.  And, really?  I want this one to stick around.

I’ve been preparing.  It’s Halloween, so I get a holiday-lite with them to have some fun.  What to do? What to do?  I’ve been pacing back and forth trying to figure it all out.

Ooh, Ooh.  We could go go para-sailing!  To which I was quickly reminded that I don’t live near a warm sunny place, and that it is October… And I was asked if I thinking straight.

Yes? Why do you ask?

No reason.  Do you have a pen?

Yeah sure, there is one right… Wait?! What are you going to write down?

Nothing? What do you mean?

Are you taking notes?… I got no response on that one, so I’m going to ignore that question.  But, para-sailing… Yes. There is hope

Of course, I could take them to a corn maze… Nope, too scary for the younger ones.

And then it hit me.  I haven’t seen them in three weeks! I just want to be with them, close to me.  Hugging them tightly and feeding them sugary cereals and junk food.

Well, maybe I will make something healthy.  I think I have Ramen. And McDonalds is around the corner.

I’m just playing.

But there will be popcorn. My secret, Dulce De Awesomeness of Carmel Popcorn.

The one thing this has really caused me to think about, is my singledom.  During this time, I really started to realize how single I was.  You get caught up in work, kids and the financial responsibilities and you don’t notice these things.  But! You take away something and force yourself to pause..

Thanks pain meds. I owe you one.

You start to ponder your state, your status… Your acknowledgment that your trucking it alone.  And you say to yourself,

Self! I want pie… “Wait, I mean, I don’t like trucking it alone.” Ooh, but pie sounds good too!

So as I go shopping to get them all taken care of, buy health food, getting ready to have them back this Friday.  I believe… I will buy some pie.

Oh and ice cream.

“Dad? How come they don’t have toy ovens for boys?”

I’ve been actively cooking and playing the next Top Chief of my home for the past many months. Let me reminisce for a second…

“It’s been awesome ride! I had such strong competition,  the challenges where excellent.  But, you all know who rocks the kitchen without his socks on?”

That’s right, it’s me! [ I'm doing my victory dance again. ]

And as I was blissfully recalling each and every win, and rubbing it in and trash talking Mario and Bobby…

“Dad?! Why don’t they have toy ovens for boys?”

Give me a second, I’m reminiscing, and your daddy is winning.

“Come on, Dad! Rocky was never a chef.  And your looking silly!”

Oooh pretty lights

Okay, now I’m panting, and after getting my mind to function again, I thought about this.  Why isn’t there a toy oven for boys? So, I pondered the answer to this and in all my Dad glory, I said:

“Son,  we don’t need no stinkin’ toys.  We have a kitchen, and it’s just behind you.”

And then I started thinking about these ovens.  What’s the fun in cooking and not doing it with someone?  Plus, children still need parental guidance, why not make it the real way? And, I get to teach him how to make a real cake, and not just one that only he gets to enjoy.

Kitchen’s are a wonderful place to socialize with your family.  You get to create something that not only they will like, but they get to see everyone enjoying what you made.  I get to laugh with my kids, and invent new pancakes.

Mmmm, blueberry white chocolate pancakes! Best creation ever!

Having this moments with my kids, will be the moments that shows them, I love them, and that I want to share with them all the good things in this life.

Did I mention that blueberry white chocolate pancakes rock?

What’s that I hear?

It maybe just me, but I think they are calling for me now.