Me: Shhh… I have these bills to go over.
H: But you will forget… Like last time.

Me: Shhh… I have these medical bills, phone bills, and… and…
H: …

Shhh.... I'm busy

Me: What were you saying?
H: …

Me: Okay. Just a few minutes I promise

[ Time passes by ]

H: Come on ol’ buddy. Snap out out of it
Me: I’m tired.  My eyes hurt. And I’m…

H: Come on… let’s go exploring…

The only comic strip in existence that has an affect on me like no other.  It holds such a special place in my heart that I gave the book to my son who just turned 18 as a birthday present.  It reminds me to remember to be as a child.  To live with humor in my life, and that being the greatest man in the world, requires that you be the man that holds with gentle fingers, to hug when a hug is needed, and to just lay down with them under the fort made of blankets reading the greatest comic book of all time.

I'm Sorry... Let's go exploring

And today, go find your Hobbes, and give it a big hug, and then head off to that field and go exploring.  For it is a new day…

“It’s a magical world Hobbes, ol’ buddy! Let’s go exploring”

And don’t forget to bring your child, because awesomeness shouldn’t be guarded… it has to be shared.

Not many people actually knew this about me, but I was a lifeguard for awhile.

Now most people see this and go, well that’s exciting, did you yell at kids at a waterpark?

[ Uhhhh, no. ]

I was a lifeguard at a swimming pool, in a rural area of Wyoming. This swimming pool was privately held, but had hooks with the EMT’s and Search and Rescue.

That’s right.  Being a lifeguard in this area, meant you were on the backup river search teams.  We were taught and practiced how to search for people in fast moving streams.  And most notably, The Snake River.  I dreamed of the day, when they would call us off the bench to be in the big game, to search for a loved one, and help the families searching for what happened to their children, spouses, parents.

[ Okay, that just sounded weird to say ]

Search and Rescue in this area was almost a celebrity status position [ Harrison Ford was a pilot for the area search teams ]. I still remember seeing friends getting pictures with Harrison after getting flown up to a remote area. [ Sigh... not me ]

I was a bench warmer for the Pro team.  I practiced with them, learned crisis management, and ran practice run’s with EMT’s.  But… I was a Pro Lifeguard.  I pulled kids out pools. Listened to screaming parents.  Pulled a frantic mom out the pool so the other lifeguard could get to her child.  I watched in mid air after a kid grabbed the swinging rope and aimed for a group of kids, launched in the air.   Me and another guard, [ In slow motion of course ] Ran and yelling for the kids to look out, as he landed on two of them [ Punk kids ]. Pulling a child out of a pool. To give him CPR, and to watch his lifeless body come back to life. [ You want a powerful moment... ]

I learned crisis management.

And this is actually something that has a great deal of value for me.  With my kids, I was able to look at a situation and be able to evaluate what the real problems were.  To figure out while two kids where screaming and crying at each other, that the reality was, one took the others candy. And that nobody was actually dying.

I learned how to see through lies.  There was a time, when my kids would get so upset at me, as I would look at them and I knew they weren’t telling me the truth.  I may not have known what the truth actually was, but I knew they weren’t telling it.  There has been times where I would let them lie to me, and I would leave with them this, “Well, I trust you.  You know what’s right, and I hope your telling me everything”

Every time, it either failed to happen, or if it did, they would say that it was a miserable time… And even an apology every now and then.

[ Hmmm I wonder why? ]

I see everything that I learned, everything I experienced, as a way to support my family.  To teach them how they can be better, how they should live.

The moment I had kids, I went from being a bench-warmer, to playing for the pro team. And like every pro team, you have to continually practice and be ready for the big game. ‘Cause when the big moments happen, you have to be ready.

When I was Nineteen, I was about to go on a journey.  And, before I started my father pulls me aside.  And he says…

Travis, you will be a father now. You won’t get much help.  You will need to take care of your family.

Now, this always seemed obvious to me.  I knew that as a father I would need to take care of my family.  But, this was the last reminder I got like this, before I was married.  it was an aculmination of all that he taught rolled up one final statement.

Travis you will be a father.

Only recently has this really hit home.  [ Kinda funny now that I've gotten as far as I have ]

I find peace in my father’s words.  He has always been my hero, as much as my grandfather was my hero.  These men, have dictated the direction of their families, and you can see it in my siblings, cousins, and aunts and uncles.

Fatherhood, right along with motherhood, are the two most powerful roles a couple will face.  These define your children.  Your children’s children. and will leave a legacy that is far greater than you ever imagined.

Many times as parents we forget… we forget the simple thing.  That, we are responsible for many generations to come. How they will believe, how they will see themselves and how they return their love to their own parents.

My goal is to live a mighty life.  One of my father.  One of my father’s father.

I’ve placed these men on pedestals. [ I know... that's a dangerous place to put them. ] They have not failed me.  The mistakes they make are that of simple errors.  But never did they fail in the quick apology or the quickness to forgive.  And it is in these moments that told me what kind of men they really were.

No man is faultless.  But we can push forward to become better.  We can lead our lives to perfection.  And, I see within my father, mother, and grandfathers and grandmothers, people of great stature.

And it is you that I will become.  I will be my father’s son.

It started off slowly… way too slowly.

And here we go, I barely make it up the hill, just behind the BMW that stops for another car turning left.  Dang, I need to get around before I come to a full stop…

Crap, all the other cars saw this and beat me over.  I’m stopped. And now, I can’t move.  I’m spinning. [ Warning sign ]

I actually got around and the BMW ended up turning around.  It’s funny that many people don’t realize that if you can get over to the edge, that the traction actually get’s better and you can move.  I got to the beltline… and there I saw it.  It’s backed up for miles.  An accident [ Double Crap ].  At this point, I had driven 2 miles and it took me an hour and half.

Well, that was fun.  So I made a quick call and rescheduled the pick up for Saturday morning.  I was starting to anticipate a very busy morning, since I wouldn’t be back in town until 10AM and the schedule dictated that I needed to be on location at 2PM.

See I had a Princess and a Rock Star to deliver to their afternoon of awesomeness.

That looks painful... So very painful.

We get back and everything is getting to a fever pitch of anxiety.  They are asking all kinds of questions [ Sheesh, and I'm just the chauffer... teehee ]

We get everything ready, and I get my youngest all settled into his newly rebuilt laptop… which I just rebuilt during the downtime between 11-2… Yeah, I realized how that went and have to admit, it was smooth… like – I’m way too old and can do this stuff in my sleep – good.

And at 2PM, making sure that food has been eaten and that house was in semi-disarray.  Cause I can’t have enough stress. So I made sure that the mess would be lingering in my mind too.

And then we walked through the doors…

The girls just froze.  I didn’t realize what I just done until I walked in there.  I had scheduled a afternoon with an award winning salon and spa… and it showed… Dang.

We fill out paperwork.

A lady comes out, introduces herself as Christi and the girls get whisked off to the Mani-Pedi room.  Of course in all my awkwardness I asked, “Can I bring a camera in?”

Sure, that would be great.

Sweet..

Which had the funniest, yet extremely awesome moment.

I over heard…

Is that a photographer with those girls?

[ Teehee ].  Yeah, they have their own personal Paparazzi thank you very much.

I tell ya, they weren't enjoying this at all.

So I took photos making them feel all important.  Messed with the aperture and shutter, getting some amazing shots. I tried really hard to not notice women who were watching.  That was something I wasn’t prepared for.  But I did notice how the girls looked getting that attention.

Then they went on to hair styling.  I sat back and witnessed my two little girls become teenagers.  Getting curls and talking with stylists, whom they now know by first name.

But most of all I got to see a couple of girls who were very nervous not knowing what was going to happen, to experience something that they loved so much that I promised them that this will be a early event.  [ But next time, I'm just dropping them off ]

Best Gift Ever.

It wasn’t the gift really.  It was the reward of seeing two girls start to see, in themselves a new person. And have things done that they never experienced before and didn’t know what it was like.  It’s hard to explain, but  I felt like a really proud papa yesterday, and I’m not even old enough to be called a papa, except my oldest called me that since she could say her first words… I know, I know…

It’s awesome.

[ Stupid chemicals.. I think I got something in my eye ]

My finger’s are tingling. My knee is all jittery.  My heart is racing.  Could it be that I have…

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin’ to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated

Holy freak. I'm going to need one of these soon. I can barely think

Ohhhh yeah! Tomorrow night… It’s all about my kids again.  I have been so anxious to have them this weekend.  I’ve been forewarned that they will be bearing gifts.  I’m so excited.  I have everything planned.  2PM a complete awesomeness package for my girls.  They humbly asked for only one thing… a manicure. I’ve booked a really good place recommended to me by my manager. And it’s not just for a manicure… I am just excited at seeing them get to go and do something they have never done before… [ Well I haven't either, but I will accept this ]

Just get me to the airport put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane

I’m going to be taking pictures of them after their big event.  [ Bwahahaha... They don't know how big it's actually going to be ]

I’ve never done this before, so if their is any advice on how to not act like an idiot with any additional pearls of wisdom on making sure, they still think I’m awesome afterwords [ other me being a silly dad, no you can't tell me to stop ] would be completely awesome.

Like one, what exactly does a pedicure and manicure consist of?

I’m am just completely beside myself, after scheduling this.  I haven’t been able to do anything for my girls in such awhile that this is not just exciting but it’s pulling at my heartstrings.

Hold on… I think I’ve got something in eye… [ I blame it on the dust, yeah, dust. ]

Okay, all better, a slight sting, but I can type again.  Can I take a moment and extole the awesomeness that is my daughters?

Well… They are awesome!  I remember each birth, I remember when my littlest one wouldn’t let go of my leg, when she realized we were going to move, and she was terrified of the change.   I slow danced with her when she was collicky as an infant.  I held her in my arms and sang a good night song.

I sang this goodnight song every night, with my personal ad-libs.  Every so often I still do it.  I would lay in the top bunk with both of them, [ That's right, the tippy top bunk ] and sing Goodnight Sweetheart to them.  [ Stupid dust ]

My oldest dealt with many issues as an infant and was in the NICU right at birth.  She went through tremendous experiences and has the heart of gold.  I couldn’t slow dance with her for a little while and she required constant attention and love, that was needed in her early years. That love has never changed.

Now, she will come up to me and just hug me, and I will sway back and forth. It’s my little dance.

Each one, was so close in age and due to situations, they grew up together and in the same classes.  I would not just carry one, I would carry both.

Just put me in a wheelchair, get me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane

My youngest fell down a set of concert steps at a family reunion.  It was terrible, she cut her eyebrow and it was split wide-open, and I had to rush her to the ER 40 miles away.  I in all my daddyisms held her close in the ER until the doctors wouldn’t let me anymore.  Afterwards, she cuddled in my lap and slept, when we got back.

[ Stupid dust ]

What was I saying.  I love my girls.  The one thing that I’ve recognized, is that my family isn’t finished.  I know that I have more to give as a father.  And this is what hurts the worse about sitting here single again.  Not only do I love my children, but somewhere somehow, I will get have more of these experiences again. To love the next little spirit, that is to be shared in a loving marriage.

Dang…. I love my kids.

[ Stupid Dust ]

Just put me in a wheelchair get me to the show
Hurry hurry hurry before I go loco

Everybody now!  stand up!  and take a moment… cause…

Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go…
Just put me in a wheelchair…

The last time, I had my kids with me,  I had my daughter in a stroller and I attempted to make it through Central Park and over to FAO Schwartz…

Wouldn’t you know it, NYC is not stroller friendly. But that’s another complaint. [ You need those bigger rugged strollers to hit those streets with ] I still have memories of hauling a broke stroller around Times Square with a little girl in it…

My kids absolutely loved going there [ Oh, and the M&M store.  And the Nintendo store. But FAO.. they loved ].

[ My mind kept drifting over to the Apple Store... ]

And, NC dragged [ Not really, but I pretended so she could laugh and pull on my arm. ] me to every station with dolls.  The funnest one she wanted was to adopt a new doll.  They have a nurse [ Uhh, no comment ] on hand, who would help with the adoption process.   Of course everything was ala-carte, so I could see me plunking down $300 pretty quickly…

Not the Princess I'm Referring too, but we just got 2 feet of snow...

NC: Oh, Dad! Can I get that one?
Me: No sweetie, we can’t afford that.  The bottled water on 6th, just dropped me $30 bucks… [ Ugh.. should of bought more at Battery where it was $1 a bottle ]

NC: Please?
Me: I promise, we would do this again and we will get to do this.  [ Ha, take that Build-A-Bear! You ain't getting my money... ]

Well, that promise has completely bombed out… And they forgot, as there was so many things in NY that got them distracted.  But I remembered.  And this year has been pretty rough on them and my heart has been breaking at the thought of them dealing with the changes.

So here I am, pondering what to do for Christmas.  The last time they were here, we were talking about the Salon that’s close to me, and I could see her eyes light up with the thought.   I think I have a good Christmas gift this weekend.

While off being taken care of like a princess,  I will take Roo to go see The Christmas Carol.

This should be a good weekend.  But… I hate the letting go part.

I love my kids.

“Hi, this is Travis with A Culminating Life…”

Right around the time THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS was getting put together Wes Anderson decided to direct, and along with Noah Baumbach, write the stop-motion film Fantastic Mr. Fox.

Stop-motion is an interesting technique, which was utilized very well in movies like Nightmare Before Christmas (Weirdly and awesomely odd) and more recently Coraline ( My kids didn’t sleep that night – Thanks Henry Selick! – Oh the sisters! It burns!!! )

So, by it’s nature, stop-motion seems to enjoy skipping hand-in-hand, with it’s director, in the daisy-like fields of eccentricity [ See above ]. Stop-motion provides a different point of view, in relationship to humor.  The jerkiness, shortness or even the smoothness of puppet’s movement can be directly applied to physical humor, which this movie has in abundance.

So, prior to the conference call with Jason Schwartzman to discuss the movie and his role as Ash…   I did what I do best [ It's a curse really ]..  I spent time watching trailers. Here is the trailer for Fantastic Mr. Fox. So for your enjoyment:

I agree, existentialism sounds illegal. And scary too!

Felicity “Liccy” Dahl the widow of Roald Dahl (Author of Fantastic Mr. Fox and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) opened her doors, and had her archivist assist Wes Anderson in being able to get all touchy-feely with the original manuscripts and to be immersed in the surroundings of the Gypsy House and the Dahl’s famous writing hut.   Which to some, would be seen as an OCDetic paranoia [ New word!* ]. The access required a double-wash with a special soap.  This of course has just a slightly different meaning for all you Archivists out there.  Really? I wonder what the certification test for that is like.  I swear the profession caters to the OCD in all of us.

[ On a side note,  I'm sure that we're tight,  so I can probably just call her Liccy... ]

In reviewing all the materials, I wondered how the story was going to pan out.  The book is slim on content and would need to be expanded upon, and areas would need to be fleshed out for a movie adaption.  So, I was getting worried.  But alas! As the director Wes Anderson put it,

“so we knew we had to invent a lot. But as we did it, all we wanted to do was to try and write something that we hoped Roald Dahl would think was suitable and fit with what he has invented in the first place. We were trying to write a Roald Dahl movie. I mean, we’re not going to think up the same jokes that Roald Dahl would, and we’re bringing our own personalities to it. But our goal was to try and do a Roald Dahl story.”

Look at that picture in the background... Pure Awesome!

One thing that I really liked about the choice of using puppets and stop-motion, is how it feels like your seeing a book come to life.   I really appreciate the artistic choice.  Like how the movements aren’t smooth, and when you see facial movements, it causes your eyes to want to look for all the other minute variances. You also get micro-fiber outfits and real clothing.  I think it’s a great choice for this book.

Anderson and Noah Baumbach (frequent writing partner) decided to remove the four unnamed cubs from the book and replace it with a cub that would have a substantial role in the overall narrative of the movie.

Hi Travis, this is [ Censored ]*. We are just waiting for the moderator to come on and then he will introduce Jason.

So Ash came to life in this adaption.

Ash, who is played by Jason, and who we got to interview for this article, is a 12 year old looking for his father’s approval.  He is a bit geeky, awkward and doesn’t have a great deal of ankle strength. And his upper body strength may or may not be up to par.  But who am I to judge. Ash attempts to make an awesome attempt at freeing someone with his killer body strength.

Which, uh… didn’t really work out the way he planned.

As the moderator came on, introductions where made.  I’m sure Jason will remember me, when I’m making a frantic, “Remember me, I was on that conference call once,  you said that you liked to dig holes.  Remember?” Cause, I will be at the next red carpet event.

Just waiting for those tickets…

[ Don't forget you have my address.  You can send them there... Call me? ]

Yeah, I’m sure that will get some special attention. By at least two people.

The moderator got to pick 3 questions from the group and wouldn’t you know it… they picked one of mine.  Good and bad.  Since, I had a head cold and the Sudafed didn’t kick in yet.

The first question came from Ashley Cooper from Optimistic Cynicism. With her question, ” Can you relate to your character Ash from the film, and if so, how?”

And then it happened…

… Basically I’m the son of George Clooney and Meryl Streep…

I don't think my kids will appreciate how cool your room is...

Wha?! And there you have it, Jason Schwartzman just confirmed what we knew to be true.   He is the son of George Clooney and Meryl Streep. We were there to have this massive news unveiled to us.   TMZ,  if you want the exclusive, just give me a call. You know how to reach me.

Due to the way he said it, he had just enough of a pause,  that he jokingly referred to it as him coming out.   It was pretty funny.

It was lighthearted conversation about how he can relate to his character.  How it’s okay to be yourself.

“He doesn’t really know who he is and wants his father’s love and approval,”

“I want to be a great athlete like my dad, and I want to be smart like him. I want recognition. My character’s whole story line is coming to terms with who he is. And I think that’s what the movie’s about. It’s being okay with who you are. And the thing that makes you different is the thing that makes you special. In the end, it turns out that my smallness and my differences save some lives.”

My turn came up, and I got to ask this question, “It appears that the humor in the movie aims to be at both adults and children. How do you think this adaption of the book appeals to those audiances.”

I really liked his response.  [ And on another side note, I'm impressed that he can do these events all morning and still be chipper ]

Everything is more awesome with a mask!

I learned that he really loves this movie and he really loved the book.   He has done a lot of work with Wes Anderson, and he really liked the work done on this.  With him stating that it was a great marriage of Wes Anderson and Roald Dahl.

There was over 125,000 still images with hundreds of animators and it took over three years. [ Holy freak! ]

He went into his youth, and how he loved to dig holes.  Immediately I was thinking about all the hills that I dug out three foot holes.   Wanting to say, “Yeah, me too. and some additional witty humor”

I choked.  I don’t want to talk about it.  Let’s move along shall we?

The third question came from Dawn Krutt from Peeling An Orange With a Screwdriver. “What was your favorite part of the movie.”

Sshhh, your getting the inside scoop.  Jason is talking about a scene that shows up later in the movie… We got special access.  Yup! His favorite part of the movie can be found in one of the trailers if you pay attention. I didn’t realize that it was at the end until Jason brought it up and I don’t want to give it away, but I think it’s very funny and heartwarming.

It was great experience to ask Jason my question.  He had comfortable presence, and I really enjoyed the opportunity.

When I first saw the posters and trailer, I didn’t know if I would like another puppet stop-motion movie.  After spending some time understanding what Wes was doing,  I’ve started getting anxious for it come to a theater here in Madison, as it looks pretty good. And of course, so I can take my kids. Because… that’s who I…

Fine. I almost forgot that I would take them. You got me. I was going to go on opening night, but now, I’m going to wait to take my kids.

FANTASTIC MR. FOX is now playing in select cities and opens nationwide on Thanksgiving.

–
[ Censored ]* Name dropping is a crime.
[ New word! ]* OCD + Therapeutic. Mix that with paranoia and you get… My brain hurts.

I can help you get out of jail if you really want.

Hmmm, she thought.

What’s there to think about?  You can you get out of jail and have one less property, or sit there waiting for your time to be done.

I don’t know.  Let me think about it.

Mwwwhahhwhh, I did my evil, “I will rule the world” laugh.

Sweet awesomeness.... The British version of Monopoly!

Look it’s right here, you give me your property and I will give you this golden ticket and you won’t have to spend one more moment in jail.

Okay…

And don’t make me remind you how bad jail is, and that you shouldn’t behave like that.  You should really think about that before it happens again.

Okaaaayy Dad, How many times are we going to have to do this?

So I thought I would start to lecture…

Go to jail sweetie, and you have to pay the piper.  You can’t just expect to tempt fate like it’s a roll-of-the-dice or something…

Dadddd!!! I’m not a little girl anymore! I know!

Double Mwwhahahah, I will rule the world!  I continue to assist each one in their struggles to have bad things go away.  First it was going to jail.  Then they have to give their money to the bank, and they don’t have enough.  So they sell their precious property to me…

Then at the last moment, just before I’ve dominated another market….

DADDD!!! your not funny, and your making it so I’m going to loose! And, quit fantasizing that your ruling the world! That evil finger to the mouth just makes you look silly.

Awww, now you’ve made me feel bad….

Teehee

How about if we play a game of Life instead? I said.

Yeah! Let me go get the box.

She’s awesome.

Sweet, I thought.  I will become a doctor, have kids, get that mountain cottage, and skip over all the bad spots due to me continually rolling big numbers. [ Who knew that rolling big numbers would get you a better life? ]

Ah the while, I was thinking, “I wouldn’t want any other kind.  What’s in front of me now is just pure awesome.”

“i miss u dad”

“i love you and miss you too. I hada wonderful time this weekend and wished it could be longer.”

“Ya me too”

“can’t wait to see you in two weeks.”

“Ya I realy do like it there”

Is that there are moments, where you are unable to whistle to it, and you just don’t care.

The rest of that week is a blur.  Fuzzy, disorganized, and excruciating.  I’ve said things to people, that I can’t remember. And, I didn’t say things to people, that I thought I did.

Way too much fun.

Single Glass Half Full

But there is good news!  The tree successfully lived and is still standing.  Just a scratch.

After this happened.  I had asked if the kids could be with their Mom this month. While I healed and got myself back in a position to actually be responsible for them.

And this weekend, I get them back. And now I got this feeling in my gut that won’t go away.  And, really?  I want this one to stick around.

I’ve been preparing.  It’s Halloween, so I get a holiday-lite with them to have some fun.  What to do? What to do?  I’ve been pacing back and forth trying to figure it all out.

Ooh, Ooh.  We could go go para-sailing!  To which I was quickly reminded that I don’t live near a warm sunny place, and that it is October… And I was asked if I thinking straight.

Yes? Why do you ask?

No reason.  Do you have a pen?

Yeah sure, there is one right… Wait?! What are you going to write down?

Nothing? What do you mean?

Are you taking notes?… I got no response on that one, so I’m going to ignore that question.  But, para-sailing… Yes. There is hope

Of course, I could take them to a corn maze… Nope, too scary for the younger ones.

And then it hit me.  I haven’t seen them in three weeks! I just want to be with them, close to me.  Hugging them tightly and feeding them sugary cereals and junk food.

Well, maybe I will make something healthy.  I think I have Ramen. And McDonalds is around the corner.

I’m just playing.

But there will be popcorn. My secret, Dulce De Awesomeness of Carmel Popcorn.

The one thing this has really caused me to think about, is my singledom.  During this time, I really started to realize how single I was.  You get caught up in work, kids and the financial responsibilities and you don’t notice these things.  But! You take away something and force yourself to pause..

Thanks pain meds. I owe you one.

You start to ponder your state, your status… Your acknowledgment that your trucking it alone.  And you say to yourself,

Self! I want pie… “Wait, I mean, I don’t like trucking it alone.” Ooh, but pie sounds good too!

So as I go shopping to get them all taken care of, buy health food, getting ready to have them back this Friday.  I believe… I will buy some pie.

Oh and ice cream.